I this episode, Mark and Steve respond to a spouse who sent in a CRAZY HARD situation she is facing! Her courage, authenticity and wisdom are very impressive!
Hi Mark and Steve! First of all, I just want to say thank you so much for doing these podcasts. I am married for 19 yrs and we are together for 20. I am brand new to this scene. Just found out in the last 3 weeks that my husband has severe sex addiction including Voyeurism, porn addiction, infidelity, and intimacy issues. The only thing he has disclosed to me before heading out to a 2 week intensive retreat just last week was that he was connecting with other women through apps like kik and only talking with another woman.
Since he’s been gone I’ve discovered so much more than he was willing to reveal initially. The lengths he has gone to cover up his addiction and infidelity is quite alarming. He has recently gone to the extreme of adopting a dog so he could use her as a cover when creating a “dog” Instagram account and connecting with women through that. He clearly is excellent at lying and manipulating. I think he believes when he returns that he will be staying in our home.
However, I will be asking him to live with an extended family member until he can prove that he is trustworthy. My questions for you guys are:
- Have you found that most men come completely clean after going to an intensive retreat for sex addicts? Is it best to do a 3 day intensive disclosure or a 3 month disclosure? I am more of a rip the bandaid off kind of gal so we can then heal already.
- Also, what are the signs I should be looking for to have confirmation that he’s staying away from the porn, cheating, and is committed to his healing and overcoming of his addiction?
- Lastly, should and how can I be holding him accountable without this becoming a full time job and driving myself crazy?
Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve in 3 one-hour sessions every week—addicts, spouses and couples! And live support groups on weekends, facilitated by Mark and Steve! To try a free, 2-week trial, visit—daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services Here's an article about how to HEAL from Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video To learn more about HOW to overcome porn and sex addiction, check out this article—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction