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What if I Marry an Addict in Recovery and Down the Road He Stops Choosing Recovery?

This episode is in response to a situation shared with us by a PBSE listener. She is currently engaged to a guy in his mind twenties who has struggled with porn addiction since age 9 or 10 and other more severe forms of sexual addiction in later years. He IS in active recovery; seeing a therapist; working a program and has 160 days of sobriety—the longest in his life. Here's her questions—

My fear is that while he's committed to recovery right now, this might not always be the case, especially if his brain is so tightly wired this way. Although I hate this reality I'm told that slips will almost inevitably happen. I am so scared though that one day he might stop choosing recovery and a relapse will happen. Even worse, that he might physically act out since a) he's also a love addict and b) his addiction had escalated to visiting prostitutes before we met. So although he hasn't to my knowledge had sex with others while we've been together, I'm afraid that he could easily slip back into this.

My question I guess is; is there some kind of safe zone? Have you heard of many men kicking their sex addiction for many years and then just doing a complete flip where they get tired of fighting it and just stop choosing recovery? Does that happen often We understand that addiction is for life and that he'll always need to be in recovery. And right now he's very committed to that. I'm just so sacred that I'll start a family with him and that once he feels safe that I'm locked in and by then a little bored of my body, that he'll stop choosing recovery and return to sneaking these old habits on the side.

To address these questions, Mark and Steve draw upon their own personal experiences with marriage and recovery and that of many clients over the decades.

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve in 3 one-hour sessions every week—addicts, spouses and couples! And live support groups on weekends, facilitated by Mark and Steve! To try a free, 2-week trial, visit—

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services

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