Mark & Steve
Feb 23, 20212 min
In this episode, Mark and Steve address some very poignant questions submitted by a listener:
"What do you do when the proof is in the pudding that your partner is a sexual addict but they refuse to acknowledge it?I asked him for a separation at the beginning of Dec hoping that would shake him up a bit … He has agreed to couples counseling but is "offended" at my suggestion that he has a sex addiction. There have been many discoveries over our 17 years. Is there a way to help him see or are we a lost cause?"
- We have NO control over (and must surrender) another's feelings, even our partner's.
- We tell the truth at any cost!
- The focus in true Intimacy is on Authenticity, NOT on preserving/protecting/enabling unacceptable behaviors.
- LOVE cannot be LOVE if it is robbed of truth!
- FEAR can derail authenticity.
- We CAN help a spouse "see" the reality of their addiction, BUT we cannot force them to recognize it. We can be consistent and bold with boundaries and consequences. We can "hold up a mirror." And, we can love him or her enough to let them be uncomfortable.
- How to use "outside voices" and "other messengers" to help an addict spouse come to a place of vulnerability, acceptance and accountability.
Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling
Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services
Here's a great article on the "Brain Science" behind porn and sex addiction—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/brain-science-porn-sex-addiction
Here's an article about healing Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video
Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction
Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn