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Because of Trauma from my Addict Partner, I'm Seeing the World Through "His Hyper-sexualized Lens"!

In this episode, Mark and Steve address a very unfortunate, but all-too-common challenge for the partners of porn/sex addicts. Here's how a PBSE listener describes her extreme difficulty with this issue—

I feel like I now understand, to a maybe uncomfortable degree, what’s going on in his head when we’re in public and an attractive girl is nearby.Y’all talk about “scanning a room” but, now I feel like I’m the one scanning! I obsessively scan every environment looking for the girls I know he’ll view that way, then I become crippled with anxiety when I see one. After that, I’m full of resentment that this is how I exist in the world now. I can’t even run basic errands, and it happens whether he’s with me or not. I feel like I can’t stop viewing the world around me through his eyes. What does it matter if I’m attractive, if he finds everyone else more attractive? How do I grow myself so that I don’t keep viewing the world through this lens?

I am an otherwise very confident person who knows who they are. His obsession with other girls is crippling for me, and as much as I can understand this addiction or understand it’s roots, I cannot seem to get past this. I have a personal therapist, and I’m working on building back my self confidence but it seems like I’m hitting a wall when it comes to shutting off this part of my brain that views the world now through “his” hyper sexualized lens. Thank you so much for any guidance you can provide. He and I are both so grateful for the work y’all do. You truly discuss this topic in a way that no one else does, and it really resonates. Your authenticity is palpable. Thank you!! - Mary

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve in 3 one-hour sessions every week—addicts, spouses and couples! And live support groups on weekends, facilitated by Mark and Steve! To try a free, 2-week trial, visit—

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services

Here's an article on "True Intimacy vs. Sex" in a Marriage Relationship—

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