In this episode, Mark and Steve respond to a listener who asks a very important question about one of her spouse's favorite pastimes—watching female professional wrestling. While this sounds pretty straight forward, there is a LOT to consider here! I caught [my husband] watching women’s wrestling and a very inappropriate video of the same. More than once in the last few months, he lied until I showed him evidence. Then there were excuses and gaslighting and finally a pathetic apology. The last time, I told him wrestling and YouTube had to go at least for 6 months and hopefully I could eventually get to the point of even trying to move forward with the marriage. We had a good talk, I got really open about my feelings about it (something I had not done ever). He said he understood and agreed to the 6 months. The very next day he asked if he could watch a YouTube series during lunch. Needless to say I was angry. Well, he watched it (and more). I found out and the same cycle began again. His excuse is that wrestling makes him happy. Can you say stab to the heart? He doesn’t even see how that statement is hurtful. Wrestling makes him happy, so happy that he will chose it over my boundaries. Something I desperately need out of our lives to begin to heal.
My question is this. How do I get him to understand and when do I say enough is enough? I realize this answer varies with each individual, but when does staying with someone who continues this behavior become a co-dependent relationship? How do I know if this is what I am experiencing? I want to stay but I feel like if I do, it just shows him that he can continue to hurt me and put me second to himself.
Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and couples! Visit—daretoconnectnow.com Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling
Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services Curious about "why" porn/sex addicts do the kinds of things they do? Check out this article—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/brain-science-porn-sex-addiction Want to learn more about how to move out of "toxic sex" in a marriage relationship and into "True Intimacy"?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/true-intimacy-vs-sex-in-marriage